Did You Ever Feel Invisible?

“I was nine when my life changed forever. I was sound asleep and was awaken by someone touching me. This event silenced me for the next 28 years. I was not allowed to feel my feelings, so I squished them down deep. Silenced. Again. He was always saying that I was so pretty. When I was 12, this pastor laid down next to me and started to kiss me. I would get angry at any boy who said I was pretty. The more I felt that boys were attracted to me, the more I pushed away.”

“As I was waiting in the drive-through of a popular fast food restaurant, a car full of adolescent boys drove slowly past me, hurling trash at my car and screaming obscenities and phrases that included ‘fat pig’ and ‘yeah, eat more and get even fatter, you hog!'

Humiliation and embarrassment kept me from picking up my lunch order; I couldn’t face the look of pity on the poor restaurant employee’s face as I sped past the window. The only experience that is worse than the invisibility is what morbidly obese women suffer in today’s society.”

“I remember leaning over and peering into his casket. I was all of 4 years old. As we stood at the open casket, my mom looked me in the eyes and told me to tell my dad “Good Night, Daddy.” He had ended his life a week prior. And thus began my journey as an invisible girl. I could not reconcile this pain as a child.”